In recent times, some thinkers have postulated that modern friendships have lost the force and importance that they had in antiquity. C. S. Lewis for example, in his The Four Loves, writes:

"To the Ancients, Friendship seemed the happiest and most fully human of all loves; the crown of life and the school of virtue. The modern world, in comparison, ignores it. We admit of course that besides a wife and family a man needs a few 'friends'. But the very tone of the admission, and the sort of acquaintanceships which those who make it would describe as 'friendships', show clearly that what they are talking about has very little to do with that Philia which Aristotle classified among the virtues or that Amicitia on which Cicero wrote a book."

Likewise, Paul Halsall claims that:

"The intense emotional and affective relationships described in the past as "non-sexual" cannot be said to exist today: modern heterosexual men can be buddies, but unless drunk they cannot touch each other, or regularly sleep together. They cannot affirm that an emotional affective relationship with another man is the centrally important relationship in their lives. It is not going too far, is it, to claim that friendship – if used to translate Greek philia or Latin amicitia – hardly exists among heterosexual men in modern Western society."

Mark McLelland, writing in the Western Buddhist Review under his Buddhist name of Dharmachari Jñanavira (Article), more directly points to homophobia being at the root of a modern decline in the western tradition of friendship:

"Hence, in our cultural context where homosexual desire has for centuries been considered sinful, unnatural and a great evil, the experience of homoerotic desire can be very traumatic for some individuals and severely limit the potential for same-sex friendship. The Danish sociologist Henning Bech, for instance, writes of the anxiety which often accompanies developing intimacy between male friends:

"'The more one has to assure oneself that one's relationship with another man is not homosexual, the more conscious one becomes that it might be, and the more necessary it becomes to protect oneself against it. The result is that friendship gradually becomes impossible.'"

Their opinion that fear of being, or being seen as, homosexual has killed off western man's ability to form close friendships with other men is shared by Japanese psychologist Doi Takeo, who claims that male friendships in American society are fraught with homosexual anxiety and thus homophobia is a limiting factor stopping men from establishing deep friendships with other men.

The suggestion that friendship contains an ineluctable element of erotic desire is not new, but has been advanced by students of friendship ever since the time of the ancient Greeks, where it comes up in the writings of Plato. More recently, the Austrian philosopher Otto Weininger claimed that:

"There is no friendship between men that has not an element of sexuality in it, however little accentuated it may be in the nature of the friendship, and however painful the idea of the sexual element would be. But it is enough to remember that there can be no friendship unless there has been some attraction to draw the men together. Much of the affection, protection, and nepotism between men is due to the presence of unsuspected sexual compatability." (Sex and Character, 1903)

Recent western scholarship in gender theory and feminism concurs, as reflected in the writings of Eve Sedgwick in her The Epistemology of the Closet, and Jonathan Dollimore in his Sexual Dissidence and Cultural Change: Augustine to Wilde, Freud to Foucault.

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Internet friendships are friendships between people who have met online, and in some cases know each other only via the Internet. Like Internet romance, it has been widely debated and often criticized.

It is, many people argue, very difficult - if not impossible - to establish a meaningful relationship with somebody you can't see face to face. It is difficult to gauge a person's emotions and feelings, and there is a high possibility of deception - people lying about who they are.

Supporters of online relationships, on the other hand, argue that not seeing the other person actually helps the relationship: you have fewer inhibitions, because you feel that the person you are speaking with doesn't have any expectations of you, and therefore it is easier to "be yourself". You are judged on nothing but your personality and screenname. They also point out that online friendships are similar to penpal relationships. It is the experience of many people that in internet relationships most people end up being much more open about their thoughts and feelings than in non-online relationships.

In addition, many proponents of online friendships point out that those who say that the lack of face-to-face contact cheapens internet friendships could be considered shallow to want to see who they are talking to, thus implying that how their friends look could change how they think of them.

In her book Life on the Screen: Identity in the Age of the Internet (1995), Sherry Turkle analyses this and other new phenomena in interpersonal relationships.

Since the development of high-speed, broadband internet, the face of internet friendships has changed utterly. Now it is possible to hold full audio and video conversations via the internet, allowing you to be relatively sure the person you're talking to is who they say they are, as well as observing all the nuances and subtleties of speech and facial expression. Still, some (often more introverted) people prefer not to use these technologies.

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A group of friends consists of two or more people who are in a mutually pleasing relationship engendering a sentiment of camaraderie, exclusivity and mutual trust. There are varying degrees of "closeness" between friends. Hence, some people choose to differentiate and categorize friendships based on this sentiment.

Russia

The relationship is constructed differently in different cultures. In Russia, for example, one typically accords very few people the status of "friend". These friendships however make up in intensity what they lack in number. Friends are entitled to call each other by their first names alone, and to use diminutives. Everyone else is addressed by full first name plus patronymic, and is known as an "acquaintance". These could include relationships which elsewhere would be qualified as real friendships, such as workplace relationships of long standing, neighbors with whom one shares an occasional meal and visit, and so on. Physical contact between friends is expected, and friends, whether or not of the same sex, will embrace, kiss and walk in public with their arms around each other, or arm-in-arm, or hand-in-hand, without the slightest embarrassment or sexual connotation.

According to Oleg Kharkhordin in a paper on the politics of friendship, in Soviet society, friendships were "a suspect value for the Stalinist regime" in that they presented a stronger allegiance that could stand in possible opposition to allegiance to the Communist party. "By definition, a friend was an individual who would not let you down even under direct menace to him- or herself; a person to whom one could securely entrust one's controversial thoughts since he or she would never betray them, even under pressure. Friendship thus in a sense became an ultimate value produced in resistance struggles in the Soviet Union". [1]

Greece

In Ancient Greece, in a text in defence of pederasty, Plato asserts: "the interests of rulers require that their subjects should be poor in spirit, and that there should be no strong bond of friendship or society among them, which love, above all other motives, is likely to inspire, as our Athenian tyrants learned by experience; for the love of Aristogeiton and the constancy of Harmodius had a strength which undid their power." (Symposium; 182c)

Asia

In the Middle East and Central Asia male friendships, while less restricted than in Russia, tend also to be very intimate, and also involve a great deal of mutual non-sexual but affectionate touching, holding of hands and so on.

Modern west

In the Western world, intimate physical contact has been sexualized in the public mind over the last one hundred years and is considered taboo in friendship, especially between two males. However, stylised hugging or kissing may be considered acceptable, depending on the context. An exception are young children, whose friendships, usually of a homosocial nature, typically exhibit elements of a closeness and intimacy suppressed later in life in order to conform to societal standards.

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Pen pals (or penpals or pen friends) are people who regularly write to each other, in particular in the case of postal mail. A penpal relationship is often used to practice writing and reading in a foreign language, improving literacy, to learn more about other countries and life-styles, and to ameliorate loneliness. Some people remain penpals for only a short time, while others continue to exchange letters and presents life-long. Some penpals eventually arrange to meet in face to face. Penpals come in all ages, nationalities and cultures. Being part of a penpal network can be a way to gain a valuable understanding of the world, and an appreciation for cultures and lifestyles very different to your own.

Many people writing to a penpal are not using their native language in their letters.

A modern variation on the traditional penpal arrangement is to have a keypal and exchange email addresses as well as or instead of paper letters. This has the advantage of saving money, but also the disadvantage that the communication is very ephemeral. Many people prefer to receive paper letters, gaining the satisfaction of seeing their name carefully printed on a thick envelope in the letterbox. Using postal mail, it is possible to trade postcards, stamps and anything else light and flat enough to fit inside an envelope.

Penpal clubs can be found on the Internet, in magazine columns, newspapers, and sometimes through clubs or special interest groups. Some people are looking for romantic interests, while others just want to find friends. Penpals also make and pass around friendship books. There is also a non-profit humanitarian penpal organisation, Human Writes [1] through which people all over the world correspond with prisoners on US death row (although corresponding with prisoners is popular, care should be taken to follow the rules - see [2] and [3]).

The Australian author Geraldine Brooks wrote a memoir Foreign Correspondence (1997) about her childhood which was enriched by her exchanges of letters with other children both in Australia and overseas and her travels as an adult in search of the people they had become.

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Plato and his students.

Platonic love in its modern popular sense is an affectionate relationship into which the sexual element does not enter, especially in cases where one might easily assume otherwise. A simple example of platonic relationships is friendship between two heterosexual people of the opposite sexes.

At the same time, this interpretation is a misunderstanding of the nature of the Platonic ideal of love, which from its origin was that of a chaste but passionate love, based not on disinterest but virtuous restraint.

History

The term amor platonicus was coined as early as the 15th Century by the Florentine scholar Marsilio Ficino as a synonym for amor socraticus. Both expressions signify a love focused on the beauty of a person's character and intelligence rather than on their physical charms. They refer to the special bond of affection between two men Plato had highlighted in a dialogue, and exemplified by the affection between Socrates and his young male pupils, in particular to the one between Socrates and Alcibiades. On Ficino and the Symposium

The English term dates back as far as Sir William Davenant's Platonic Lovers (1636). It is derived from the concept in Plato's Symposium of the love of the idea of good which lies at the root of all virtue and truth.

Paradox

Ironically, the very eponym of this love, Plato, as well as the forementioned Socrates and Ficino, all belong to the community of men who desire boys, and they all engaged in chaste but erotic pedagogic friendships with youths. The concept of platonic love thus arose within the context of the debate pitting mundane sexually expressed pederasty against the philosophic – or chaste – pederasty elaborated in Plato's writings (Symposium, Phaedro, Laws, and others).

Regarding Socrates, John Addington Symonds in his A Problem in Greek Ethics states that he "...avows a fervent admiration for beauty in the persons of young men. At the same time he declares himself upon the side of temperate and generous affection, and strives to utilize the erotic enthusiasm as a motive power in the direction of philosophy." According to Linda Rapp in glbtq, Ficino, by platonic love, meant "...a relationship that included both the physical and the spiritual. Thus, Ficino's view is that love is the desire for beauty, which is the image of the divine."

Because of this the common modern definition of platonic love can be seen as paradoxical, in light of these philosophers' life experiences and teachings. Plato and his peers did not teach that a man's relationship with a youth should lack an erotic dimension, but rather that the longing for the beauty of the boy is a foundation of the friendship and love between those two. However, having acknowledged that the man's erotic desire for the youth magnetizes and energizes the relationship, they countered that it is wiser for this eros to not be sexually expressed, but instead be redirected into the intellectual and emotional spheres.

To resolve this confusion, French scholars found it helpful to distinguish between amour platonique (the concept of non-sexual love) and amour platonicien (love according to Plato). When the term "Platonic love" is used today, it generally does not describe this aspect of Plato's views of love.

The understanding that Platonic love could be interpreted as masculine eros, albeit unconsummated, is intimately linked with the construction of a homosexual identity, and the cultural model of platonic friendship / pederasty was used by educated gay men since the early Renaissance.[1]

Quotes

• "Platonic Love is a fool's name for the affection between a disability and a frost."
  • Ambrose Bierce
• "Platonic love is love from the neck up."
  • Thyra Smater Winsolow

References

• This article incorporates text from the Encyclopædia Britannica Eleventh Edition, a publication now in the public domain.
• Gould, T. (1963) Platonic Love. New York: The Free Press.

Link

• Plato's Theory of Love

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In many societies, masculinity is understood to include open displays of same-sex non-sexual affection and physical contact. In other societies, such as the USA in recent times, such behavior is devalued and regarded as effete.
Anonymous photo, USA, ca. 1860

The term romantic friendship refers to a very close but non-sexual relationship between friends (usually, but not always, same-sex), often involving a degree of physical closeness beyond that common in modern Western society, for example holding hands, cuddling and kissing, sleeping together, as well as open expressions of love for one another.

Romantic friendship was considered common and unremarkable in the West up until the second half of the 19th century, but after that time its open expression generally became much rarer as physical intimacy between non-sexual partners came to be regarded with anxiety, and the very phrase "romantic friendship" was almost forgotten. Only in very recent times has the concept and expression of romantic friendship begun to re-establish itself in the English-speaking world.

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Friendship and physical contact in Jewish culture: the Sixth and Seventh Lubavitch Rebbes.

Touching may include:

Holding hands
Interlocking arms while walking
Bear hug: gently enclosing the arms around the trunk of each other or holding them against you
Sitting on, sitting near or lying against another person, resting one's head on the other's shoulder, lap, etc.
Caressing (petting): gently stroking body parts or hair with a hand
Cuddling (From Scots)
Massaging a part of, or the whole body
Kissing
Licking

When speaking of physical intimacy, touching is rarely violent, unless the participants enjoy BDSM. Then touching may include:

• Punching
• Slapping
• Kicking
• Biting

Whether a person is wearing clothing or is nude also plays a role. In particular, touching with clothing tends to be more intimate if the layer of clothing at the area of contact is thin and flexible. The layers may be reduced or eliminated even without undressing by touching under someone's clothes. Objects, especially hard or large ones, such as big buttons, zippers, piercings, jewellery, and objects in pockets, may somewhat obstruct intimate touching.

A cuddle party is a party where strangers cuddle, touch, caress, and massage, subject to rules such as no nudity, no hands under clothes, no French kisses and no dry humping or other sex.

National Hugging Day was founded on January 21, 1986. December 4 is considered International Hug Day.

Physical intimacy between a human and an animal may involve petting (caressing), hugging and playing.

Also a person, especially a child, may caress and hug a teddy bear or doll. There are also sex dolls, as a surrogate for a person.

A personal relationship that does not involve sexual behavior, e.g. friendship, may involve physical intimacy. This varies greatly. In western culture it is more common among female than among male friends; the latter may want to avoid associations with homosexuality. In other cultures, such as Arab culture, men may hold hands with no implication of homosexuality. Many East Asian cultures typically encourage relatively little body contact between friends, acquaintances, and members of the same sex. Even among family members and spouses, traditionally, there are fewer public displays of affection.

A man and a woman who are friends may avoid physical intimacy to avoid associations with sexuality or emotional intimacy, in order not to appear to be in a sexual relationship. This is especially true if one or both of them is already in such a relationship with another person.

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A cuddle party is an event workshop instructing adult participants in the art of consensual and boundary-appropriate touch. They generally use a set of rules to set up a safe space and keep things from heating up too much, such as no nudity, hands under clothes, dry humping, or other sex. Erections are considered natural (not problematic), but should not be acted upon.

The parties are organized in several cities in the U.S., Canada, Germany, Amsterdam and soon in Australia.

History

Reid Mihalko and Marcia Baczynski founded the organization "Cuddle Party" in New York City. Reid Mihalko's CuddleParty.com website has been operating since April 2004.

Philosophy

The central tenet of the cuddling philosophy is that adults retain the same physical need for touch they had in their early childhood. Adolescence and its subsequent effects upon this need for "pre-sexual" touch are typically unaddressed by cuddle proponents, who instead believe that it is possible, and therapeutically beneficial, for adults to engage in non-sexualized touching.

Parties are often led by trained Cuddle party facilitators (often called "cuddle lifeguards") who coordinate group activities, lead the workshop, maintain the safety and integrity of the space, and serve as "cuddle lifeguards" if necessary.

In many cases, cuddle parties are ticketed events for which participants pay for admission. Initially, women were allowed free admission, but this policy was gradually replaced with an equal fee system. Given the trend's growing popularity, however, a small but growing number of "open-invitation" cuddle parties are free of admission, or operate under a love-donation system.

The Rules

Participants are encouraged to wear pajamas or other comfortable clothing. Liqour is not permitted. A complete list of rules is available at the CuddleParty.com website.

Media

• A Cuddle party was featured on an episode of CSI: New York titled "Grand Murder at Central Station".
• Columbia News Service article about cuddle parties ^[1]
• NYDailyNews.com "Gimme a hug!" ^[2]

Links

• Cuddleparty.com
• San Francisco Bay Area Cuddle Party website
• Los Angeles Area Cuddle Party website
• Alabama Cuddle Party website
• Orange County & Los Angeles area Cuddle Party website
• The Rules
• Cuddle parties in Amsterdam (not affiliated with the Cuddle Party organization of the US)

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Tickling is the act of touching a part of the body so as to cause involuntary laughter or twitching movements.

Etymology

The word evolved from the Middle English tikelen, perhaps frequentative of ticken, to touch lightly. The sensation of surprise, known as gargalesthesia, elicited by tickling protects against crawling animals and insects, such as spiders, mosquitos, scorpions or beetles, which may be why it evolved in many animals, including rats. Some evidence suggests that laughing is a nervous reaction that can be triggered by tickling; indeed, very ticklish people often start laughing before actually being tickled.

It is also unknown why certain areas of the body are more ticklish than others, and it varies for different people. Many people find that their ribs are the most ticklish, while others find the soles of their feet to be the most ticklish. Other commonly ticklish areas include the armpits, toes, sides, neck, midriff, and other sensitive areas. In a recent survey, the most sensitive areas on the male body were found to be the foot and groin areas. Another odd phenomenon with tickling is that, when a person touches the previously mentioned bodyparts on their own bodies, most people measure no tickling sensation. This is because when someone else is tickling you, your brain doesn't know what the movement will be, but when you tickle yourself it is like sending an e-mail to yourself. You send a message from your brain to your fingers to move in a certain pattern against the ticklish area, but when the brain receives the message that that area has been touched, it realises that it is the same pattern that the brain just sent, so it doesn't tickle.

Society

Tickling is a form of social interaction. One feature of tickling is that we do not laugh when we tickle ourselves, only when other people tickle us. This implies that the brain may have a different mechanism for responding to the two types of tickling.

Charles Darwin theorised on the link between tickling and social relations, arguing that tickling provokes laughter through the anticipation of pleasure. If a stranger tickles a child without any preliminaries, catching the child by surprise, the likely result will be not laughter but withdrawal and displeasure. Darwin also noticed that for tickling to be effective, you must not know the precise point of stimulation in advance, and reasoned that this is why you cannot effectively tickle yourself.

Tickling is defined by many child physiologists as an integral bonding activity between parents and children. In the parent-child concept, tickling establishes at an early age the pleasure associated with being touched by a parent with a trust-bond developed so that parents may touch a child, in an unpleasant way, should circumstances develop such as the need to treat a painful injury or prevent harm from danger. This tickling relationship continues throughout childhood and often into the early to mid teenage years.

Another tickling social relationship is that which forms between siblings of relatively the same age. Many case studies have indicated that siblings often use tickling as an alternative to outright violence when attempting to either punish or intimidate a sibling. The sibling tickling relationship can occasionally develop into an anti-social situation, whereas one sibling will tickle without mercy the other to such ends as helpless laughter.

According to some, tickling often serves as an outlet for sexual energy between individuals who cannot, for whatever reason, express that energy in other ways. This occurs frequently amongst young adults involved in a friendship. As with parents and siblings, tickling serves as a bonding mechanism between friends. This suggests that tickling works best when all the parties involved feel comfortable with the situation and one another.

In general society terms, the idiom tickled pink means to be pleased or delighted.

Fetishism

Tickling as a fetish is perhaps one of the most common human behaviors known, in that studies indicate nearly 85 percent of adults in some way or another enjoy tickling others, being tickled themselves, or watching others be tickled. The tickling can be done with or without restraint.

The use of tools in tickling is common in fetish tickling. Using tools can intensitfy the tickling sensation, inducing heavier laughter. The tools appropriate for tickling use varies by body part. For tickling the soles of feet, using something with sharp points to stroke the soles of the feet can produce intense sensations.

Forced laughter by tickling can also be found in the sexual fetish world of BDSM. Those who gain sexual pleasure from tickling and/or being tickled are known to have a tickling fetish. Those who seek tickling out, and who gain pleasurable excitement from tickling and/or being tickled are known to have a "Tickling Fixation". Tickle fetishes involving "erotic tickling" (frequent breaks, safewords, sensual movements), using fingers to tickle areas such as the ribs or feet, kneegling, using the tongue to lick the face, soles of the feet and toes or items such as feathers and brushes to produce tickling sensations as part of erotic foreplay. It can be a form of or simply mistaken for sexual harassment.

Research

Researcher Sarah-Jayne Blakemore confirmed Darwin's propositions by investigating how the brain distinguishes between sensations we create for ourselves and sensations others create for us. Blakemore used robotic arms to tickle people and found them to be as effective as real people in provoking laughter. When her subjects used a joystick to control the tickling robot, however, they could not make themselves laugh. This suggests that when a person tries to tickle him- or herself, the cerebellum sends to the somatosensory cortex precise information on the position of the tickling target and therefore what sensation to expect. Apparently some cortical mechanism then decreases or inhibits the tickling sensation.

Washoe, a chimpanzee alleged to have learned to use American Sign Language, has been reported to frequently make the sign for "tickle me" to researchers, similar to children who enjoy being tickled.

Physical Reactions

When humans are subjected to tickling, they tend to display some similar reactions. The most reaction is demonstrated when an area of sensitivity on the human body such as the feet, underarms, or waists are stimulated. If an immobilized victim were to have her feet tickled, or example, then he or she would try to look away from the foot that is being tickled, to not focus on the sensation.

He or she would move his or her hands back and forth, to try to distract themselves from the tickling sensation. If the armpits were the spots on the body to be tickled, then he or she would flex his or her toes, and stretch his or her feet forward, in attempts again to distract themselves from the sensation of tickling on the designated spot.

Within ticklish areas, there are also more ticklish sub areas, such as the plantar areas of the feet.

Fiction

In some science fiction literature, devices known as tickling boots are depicted as punishment-torture devices employed by some technological societies. Also in a comic book from the '60s "Magnus: Robot Fighter" there is one instance of a weather control tower producing "Tickle Rain". People hid under transparent plastic domes that had handles on the inside, so that the first people who managed to get under the domes could hold the domes down from the inside and then watch the "unfortunate" others being tickled to helpless hysterics by the rain drops.

H.P. Lovecraft, in his short novel The Dream Quest of Unknown Kadath, writes about nightgaunts — ebony-skinned, faceless, flying creatures that guard forbidden places from trespassers. When disturbed, they carry their victims away to unpleasant fates, tickling the poor captives into submission on the way. The more the captive struggles, the more he is tickled, though the nightgaunts make no noise in the performing of their mindless duties, nor do they inflict harm by any other means; the captive is typically dropped off in some death trap and left to fend for himself.

In the Veggie Tales: Esther kids video, instead of being executed by hanging - as described in the Biblical Book of Esther upon which the story is based - offenders were instead exiled to 'The Island of Perpetual Tickling'. Watering down the graphic details of a story in this way is known as Bowdlerization.

In the popular 1990s cartoon Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, a minor villain named Don Turtelli, would frequently use tickling as a form of interrogation whenever he was featured in an episode. When capturing a hostage (ranging from April O'Neil to Vern Fenwick to Zack the "Fifth Turtle"), his normal procedure would be to tie the victim to a chair, bare feet propped forward, and tickle the soles of their feet with a feather until they told what he wanted to know.

Further reading

• Blakemore S-J, DM Wolpert & CD Frith (1998). Central cancellation of self-produced tickle sensation. Nature Neuroscience 1, 635-640.
• Carlsson K, P Petrovic, S Skar, KM Petersson & M Ingvar (2000). Neural processing in anticipation of a sensory stimulus. Journal of Cognitive Neuroscience 12, 691-703.
• Berk, L.S., Tan, S.A., Fry, W.F., Napier, B.J., Lee, J.W., Hubbard, R.W., Lewis, J.E. and Eby, W.C. Neuroendocrine and stress hormone changes during mirthful laughter. Am. J. Med. Sci., 298:390-396, 1989.
• Boiten, F. Autonomic response patterns during voluntary facial action. Psychophysiol., 33:123-131, 1996.
• Ekman, P., Levenson, R.W. and Friesen, W.V. Autonomic nervous system activity distinguishes among emotions. Science, 221:1208-1210, 1983.
• Fried, I., Wilson, C.L., MacDonald, K.A. and Behnke, E.J. Electric current stimulates laughter. Nature, 391:650, 1998.
• Fry Jr., W.F. The physiologic effects of humor, mirth, and laughter. JAMA, 267:1857-1858, 1992.
• Yoon, C.K. Don't make me laugh: scientists tackle tickling. J. NIH Research, 9:34-35, 1997.
• Michael Moran, Erotic Tickling, Greenery Press, 2003. ISBN 1890159468.

Links

• Website detailing why people cannot tickle themselves
• Telegraph (UK) Article on "robot tickling experiment"
• Boston Globe Online - Why are some people not ticklish?
• Article on being tickled to death from The Straight Dope
• Real Tickling

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History of Valentine's Day

Antique and vintage Valentines, 1850-1950

Don't wait until it's too late to tell someone how much you love, how much you care.
Because when they're gone, no matter how loud you shout and cry, they won't hear you anymore.

Love isn't a decision, it's a feeling. If we could decide who to love,
Then, life would be much simpler, but then less magical.

24hrs make a lovely day,
7 days make a lovely week,
52 weeks make a lovely year & knowing a
Person like me will make ur life lovely.

Wen things go wrong...
Wen sadness fills ur heart...
Wen tears flow in ur eyes...
Always remember 3 things
1) I'm with u...
2) Still with u...
3) Will ALWAYS b...

Luv meanz to see someone with closed eyez,
To miss some1 in crowd,
2 find some1 in every thought,
To live 4 some1, luv some1, but sure tht sum1 is ONLY one!

Khushi se dil ko aabad karna...
Aur gham ko dil se azad karna,
Hamari bus itni gujarish hai ke hame bhi
Din me ek baar YAAD karna...

If Your asking if I Need U the answer is 4Ever..
If Your askin if I'll Leave U the answer is Never..
If Your askin what I value the Answer is U..
If Your askin if I love U the answer is I do.

I dream about you evey night
I shiver when your in sight
I long to hold you close n tight
I wanna be there with all my might
I m just hoping I'm the girl whos right

When I look at you,
I cannot deny there is God,
Cause only God could have created some one
As wonderful n beautiful as you

If I reached for your hand , will u hold it ?
If I hold out my arms, will u hug me ?
If I go for your lips, will u kiss me ?
If I capture ur heart , will u love me ??

Smile in Pleasure
Smile in Pain
Smile when trouble pours like Rain
Smile when sum1 Hurts U
Smile becoz SOMEONE still
Loves to see u Smiling!!

No shadows 2 depress u
Only joys 2 surround u
Many friends 2 luv u
God himself 2 bless u
These r my wishes 4 u,
For today, tomorrow & everyday

C.L.I.C.K. Means :
C= cant live without u
L= love u
I= I miss u
C= care about u
K= kiss from my heart 2 u
So whenever u miss me just say CLICK.

Don't go for looks,
They can deceive
Don't go for wealth
Even that fades away.

Go for sum1 who makes u
Smile becoz only a smile makes
A dark day seem bright..
Non $top Entertainment only at Funzug! Click to Join 4 Free!

As days go by, my feelings get stronger,
To be in ur arms, I can't wait any longer.
Look into my eyes & u'll see that it's true,
Day & Night my thought r of U..

All I wanted was sum1 2 care 4 me
All I wanted was sum1 who'd b there 4 me
All I ever wanted was sum1 who'd b true
All I ever wantedwas sum1 like U...

Love is like a CD track
That links our hearts together
Don't ever break that CD coz
That wud break my heart too.........

Sender:Name Missing*
*Number Missing
*Sent:Date missing
*Missing U a lot that's y
Everything is missing....

Softly d leaves of memories wil fal,
I'll pick them up & gather them all,
Coz 2day, 2moro & til my life is through
I'll cherish having sum1 like u!

Memories r treasured
No1 can steal.
Parting is heartache
No1 can heal.
Sum'll 4get u wen ur gone
But I'll remember u
No matter how long..

I m on a mission:
Misson 2 avoid u,
2 forgetu, 2 get rid of u,
2 not 2 talk 2u or meet u,
In short....
MISSION IMPOSSIBLE!!

D smallest word is I,
The sweetest word is LOVE
And the dearest person
In the world is U.
Tats y I Love You..:)

Dear O Dear, ur not near
But I can hear
Don't get fear
Ur memories r here
Liv wid cheer
No mere tear
And ur mine forever!

Q:Wat is luv?
A:Luv is wen sum1 breaks ur heart
n d most amazing thing
is tat u still luv them
Wid every broken piece...!

U may miss me
U may ignore me
U may even forget me
But one day if u wanna c me
Dont search, just c ur shadow
i wil be thr...Trust Me!!

I'll stand here 4ever,
If 4ever's what it takes,
because u r my 4ever,
and 4ever always waits.....

My past says u met me
My future says u wil care 4 me
My present says u wil understand me
But my heart says u wil
Always Remember ME!

Red or white
short or tall
wrapped in silver
not wrapped at all
under covers
inside a box
shapes & sizes
love comes in lots.

Ur precious love has
turned my life completely around,
I feel lik Im wlaking but
my feet dont seem 2 touch d ground..!!

Ur d angel who I cherish so dearly
in tis heart of mine,
d 1 who makes my day brighter,
by making my whole world shine..!

Wenever I miss U,
I wont luk 4u in my dreams
or try 2 hear ur voice in ur msgs.
I'll jus put my right hand across mychest n feel U!

In life luv is neither planned nor does it happen 4 a reason
but when d luv is real
it becums ur plan 4 life
n reason 4 living..!

Live 4 d person ho dies 4u,
Smile 4 d person ho cries 4u,
Fight 4 d person ho protects u,
n luv d person ho luvs u more than u..!

U'll alwys b mine 4 now n 4ever.
U'll alwys b mine 4 ur my treasure.
U'll always b mine pls tel me its true.
Pls b mine 4everi'll always luv u...!

Wen a TOUCH could HEAL a wound
Wen EYES'S cud SPEAK volumes
Wen a SMILE can confirm I M THERE
then why do v need owrds 2 say'I LOVE YOU.'

Its not ur mistake if u cant read d eyes which cheats u.
But its really ur mistake if u cant read d eyes which loves u.

Its a nice feeling,wen sum1 u luv luvs u in retrn.
So when u knw d 1 u luv has special feeling 4 u,
never let them go coz its rare 2 find 2 hearts dat beat as 1.

When daylight turns 2 a darkened hue, D lovely stars r hinting @ u,
Ur heart beats tells u something true,
That some1 sumwher is missing U....!

I was asked about Newton's law and I said I don't know.
I was questioned on the current President of USA
and I wasn't sure if it is Clinton or Bush.
But when I was asked on who I love,
the only answer I can think of, is you.
Non $top Entertainment only at Funzug! Click to Join 4 Free!

You are the twinkle of my eyes;
The smile on my lips;
The joy of my face;
Without you I am incomplete.

Relationship doesn't get closer by meetings, but it is sweetend by THOUGHTS.
I care for you in my own STRANGE ways. Maybe you will never know, Maybe I will never show..

I ask God for a rose n he gave me flowers;
I ask God for water n he gave me an ocean;
I ask God for an angel n he gave me the best luv ever!

Every time i miss you, a star falls.
So if you ever look up at the sky and the stars are gone,
its because you made me miss you too much!

3 - 2 = one heart praying 4 you
1 + 1= two eyes looking for you
3+2= five sensesmissing you.
4+3= seven days in a week i desire you.
7+5= 12months asking god to bless you.

(http://groups.google.com/group/funnypictures)

Video: 44 Funny Cartoons About Valentine's Day - Love Fest

Saint Valentine of Terni oversees the construction of his basilica at Terni, from a 14th century French manuscript (BN, Mss fr. 185)

Numerous early Christian martyrs were named Valentine. Until 1969, the Catholic Church formally recognized eleven Valentine's Days. The Valentines honored on February 14 are Valentine of Rome (Valentinus presb. m. Romae) and Valentine of Terni (Valentinus ep. Interamnensis m. Romae). Valentine of Rome was a priest in Rome who suffered martyrdom about AD 269 and was buried on the Via Flaminia. His relics are at the Church of Saint Praxed in Rome. and at Whitefriar Street Carmelite Church in Dublin, Ireland.

Valentine of Terni became bishop of Interamna (modern Terni) about AD 197 and is said to have been killed during the persecution of Emperor Aurelian. He is also buried on the Via Flaminia, but in a different location than Valentine of Rome. His relics are at the Basilica of Saint Valentine in Terni (Basilica di San Valentino).

The Catholic Encyclopedia also speaks of a third saint named Valentine who was mentioned in early martyrologies under date of February 14. He was martyred in Africa with a number of companions, but nothing more is known about him..

No romantic elements are present in the original early medieval biographies of either of these martyrs. By the time a Saint Valentine became linked to romance in the fourteenth century, distinctions between Valentine of Rome and Valentine of Terni were utterly lost.

In the 1969 revision of the Roman Catholic Calendar of Saints, the feastday of Saint Valentine on February 14 was removed from the General Roman Calendar and relegated to particular (local or even national) calendars for the following reason: "Though the memorial of Saint Valentine is ancient, it is left to particular calendars, since, apart from his name, nothing is known of Saint Valentine except that he was buried on the Via Flaminia on February 14." The feast day is still celebrated in Balzan (Malta) where relics of the saint are claimed to be found, and also throughout the world by Traditionalist Catholics who follow the older, pre-Vatican II calendar.

The Early Medieval acta of either Saint Valentine were excerpted by Bede and briefly expounded in Legenda Aurea. According to that version, St Valentine was persecuted as a Christian and interrogated by Roman Emperor Claudius II in person. Claudius was impressed by Valentine and had a discussion with him, attempting to get him to convert to Roman paganism in order to save his life. Valentine refused and tried to convert Claudius to Christianity instead. Because of this, he was executed. Before his execution, he is reported to have performed a miracle by healing the blind daughter of his jailer.

Legenda Aurea still providing no connections whatsoever with sentimental love, appropriate lore has been embroidered in modern times to portray Valentine as a priest who refused an unattested law attributed to Roman Emperor Claudius II, allegedly ordering that young men remain single. The Emperor supposedly did this to grow his army, believing that married men did not make for good soldiers. The priest Valentine, however, secretly performed marriage ceremonies for young men. When Claudius found out about this, he had Valentine arrested and thrown in jail. In an embellishment to The Golden Legend, on the evening before Valentine was to be executed, he wrote the first "valentine" himself, addressed to a young girl variously identified as his beloved, as the jailer's daughter whom he had befriended and healed, or both. It was a note that read "From your Valentine."

This guide is licensed under the GNU Free Documentation License. It uses material from the Wikipedia.

Pepero Day is an observance in South Korea similar to Valentine's Day.

Thanks to a concentrated marketing effort, Valentine's Day is celebrated in some Asian countries with Singaporeans, Chinese and South Koreans spending the most money on Valentine's gifts.

In Japan, in 1960, Morinaga, one of the biggest Japanese confectionery companies, originated the present custom that only women may give chocolates to men. Unlike western countries, gifts such as candies, flowers, or dinner dates are uncommon. It has become an obligation for many women to give chocolates to all male co-workers. This is known as giri-choko (義理チョコ), from the words giri ("obligation") and choko, ("chocolate"). This contrasts with honmei-choko (本命チョコ); chocolate given to a loved one. Friends, especially girls, may exchange chocolate referred to as tomo-choko (友チョコ); from tomo meaning "friend". By a further marketing effort, a reciprocal day called White Day has emerged. On March 14, men are expected to return the favour to those who gave them chocolates on Valentine's Day.

In South Korea, women give chocolate to men on February 14, and men give non-chocolate candy to women on March 14. On April 14 (Black Day), those who did not receive anything on the 14th of Feb or March go to a Chinese restaurant to eat black noodles and "mourn" their single life. Koreans also celebrate Pepero Day on November 11, when young couples give each other Pepero cookies. The date '11/11' is intended to resemble the long shape of the cookie. The 14th of every month marks a love-related day in Korea, although most of them are obscure. From January to December: Candle Day, Valentine's Day, White Day, Black Day, Rose Day, Kiss Day, Silver Day, Green Day, Music Day, Wine Day, Movie Day, and Hug Day.

In China, the common situation is the man gives chocolate, flowers or both to the woman that he loves. In Chinese, Valentine's Day is called (simplified Chinese: 情人节; traditional Chinese: 情人節; pinyin: qīng rén jié).

Similar Asian traditions

In Chinese culture, there is an older observance related to lovers. It is called "The Night of Sevens" (Chinese: 七夕; pinyin: Qi Xi). According to the legend, the Cowherd star and the Weaver Maid star are normally separated by the milky way (river) but are allowed to meet by crossing it on the 7th day of the 7th month of the Chinese calendar.

An observance on the same day in Korea is called Chilseok, but its association with romance has long faded.

In Japan, a slightly different version of 七夕 (called Tanabata, which is said to mean 棚機 a weaver for a god) is celebrated, on July 7 on the Gregorian calendar. The legend behind it is similar to the Chinese one. However, it is never regarded that the celebration is even remotely related with the St. Valentine's Day or lovers giving gifts to each other.

The Middle East

In Iranian culture, Sepandarmazgan is a day for love, which is on 29 Bahman in the Jalali solar calendar of Iran. The corresponding date in the Gregorian calendar is February 17. Valentine's day is currently celebrated in Iran despite some restrictions made by government; young Iranian boys and girls are seen on this day going out and buying gifts and celebrating.

In Saudi Arabia in 2008, religious police banned the sale of all Valentine's Day items, telling shop workers to remove any red items, as the day is considered an un-Islamic holiday. This ban created a black market of roses and wrapping paper.

This guide is licensed under the GNU Free Documentation License. It uses material from the Wikipedia.

Video: Miyavi White Day (part 1.)

Saint George oil painting by Raphael

Valentine's Day has regional traditions in the UK. In Norfolk, a character called 'Jack' Valentine knocks on the rear door of houses leaving sweets and presents for children. Although he was leaving treats, many children were scared of this mystical person. In Wales, many people celebrate Dydd Santes Dwynwen (St Dwynwen's Day) on January 25 instead of or as well as St Valentine's Day. The day commemorates St Dwynwen, the patron saint of Welsh lovers. In France, a traditionally Catholic country, Valentine's Day is known simply as "Saint Valentin", and is celebrated in much the same way as other western countries. In Spain Valentine's Day is known as "San Valentín" and is celebrated the same way as in the U.K, although in Catalonia it is largely superseded by similar festivities of rose and/or book giving on La Diada de Sant Jordi (Saint George's Day). In Portugal it's more commom refered to it as "Dia dos Namorados" (Boy/Girlfriend's Day).

In Denmark and Norway, Valentine's Day (14 Feb) is known as Valentinsdag. It is not celebrated to a large extent, but a lot people take time to eat a romantic dinner with their partner, to send a card to a secret love or give a red rose to their loved one. In Sweden it is called Alla hjärtans dag ("All Hearts' Day") and was launched in the 1960s by the flower industry's commercial interests, and due to influence of American culture. It is not an official holiday, but its celebration is recognized and sales of cosmetics and flowers for this holiday are only bested by those for Mother's Day.

In Finland Valentine's Day is called Ystävänpäivä which translates into "Friend's day". As the name indicates, this day is more about remembering all your friends, not only your loved ones. In Estonia Valentine's Day is called Sõbrapäev, which has a similar meaning.

In Slovenia, a proverb says that "St Valentine brings the keys of roots," so on February 14, plants and flowers start to grow. Valentine's Day has been celebrated as the day when the first works in the vineyards and on the fields commence. It is also said that birds propose to each other or marry on that day. Nevertheless, it has only recently been celebrated as the day of love. The day of love is traditionally March 12, the Saint Gregory's day. Another proverb says "Valentin - prvi spomladin" ("Valentine — first saint of spring"), as in some places (especially White Carniola) Saint Valentine marks the beginning of spring.

In Romania, the traditional holiday for lovers is Dragobete, which is celebrated on February 24. It is named after a character from Romanian folklore who was supposed to be the son of Baba Dochia. Part of his name is the word drag ("dear"), which can also be found in the word dragoste ("love"). In recent years, Romania has also started celebrating Valentine's Day, despite already having Dragobete as a traditional holiday. This has drawn backlash from many groups, reputable persons and institutions but also nationalist organizations like Noua Dreaptǎ, who condemn Valentine's Day for being superficial, commercialist and imported Western kitsch.

Valentine's Day is called Sevgililer Günü in Turkey, which translates into "Sweethearts' Day".

According to Jewish tradition the 15th day of the month of Av - Tu B'Av (usually late August) is the festival of love. In ancient times girls would wear white dresses and dance in the vineyards, where the boys would be waiting for them (Mishna Taanith end of Chapter 4). In modern Israeli culture this is a popular day to pronounce love, propose marriage and give gifts like cards or flowers.

This guide is licensed under the GNU Free Documentation License. It uses material from the Wikipedia.

Video: St Dwynwens Day

A street prostitute talking to a potential customer in Torino, Italy, 2005

In street prostitution, the prostitute solicits customers while waiting at street corners or walking alongside a street, usually dressed in skimpy, suggestive clothing. Often the prostitute (commonly called a "hooker", "street hooker", or "streetwalker" to distinguish them from other sex workers) appears to mind his or her own business and waits for the customer to initiate contact. The act is performed in the customer's car or in a nearby alley or rented room (motels that service prostitutes commonly rent rooms by the half or full hour). Street prostitution differs significantly from "indoor prostitution," which refers to call girls, escort agencies, and workers in bars, brothels, and massage parlors. Generally, indoor prostitution is safer for the workers, has little or no negative impact on the surrounding community, is higher paid than street prostitution, and the workers are more satisfied with their work than street prostitutes (Weitzer 2000, 2005).

This guide is licensed under the GNU Free Documentation License. It uses material from the Wikipedia.

Tart cards in a British phone box advertising the services of call girls (placing them in phone boxes is illegal, but they are very common)

Those who work for an escort agency may obtain the position by responding to an employment advertisement, usually placed in the back of a magazine or newspaper. Escort agencies maintain a database or "stable" of employees of different types in order to cater to a wider client base. Some agencies may specifically deal in a certain type of prostitute. There are male-for-male, female-for-male, and female-for-female escort agencies, as well as a few male-for-female agencies. Agencies commonly specialise in only one sex. Transsexual prostitutes are available from some escort agencies.

Escort agencies typically advertise in regional publications and even telephone listings like the Yellow Pages. Many of them maintain websites with photo galleries of their employees. An interested client contacts an agency by telephone and offers a description of what kind of escort they are looking for. The agency will then suggest an employee who might fit that client's need.

The agency collects the client's contact information and calls the escort. Usually, to protect the identity of the escort and ensure effective communication with the client, the agency arranges the appointment. Sometimes it may be up to the escort to contact directly the client to make arrangements for location and time of an appointment. Generally the escort is also expected to call the agency upon arrival at the location and upon leaving to assure his or her safety.

The purpose of these details is to protect the escort agency (to some degree) from prosecution for breaking the law. If the employee is solely responsible for arranging any illegal aspects of their professional encounter the agency can maintain plausible deniability should an arrest be made.

The amount of money that is made by an escort is different depending on race, appearance, age, experience (eg. pornography and magazine work), gender, services rendered, and location. Generally male escorts command less on an hourly basis than do women, while white women quote higher rates than black women, and youth can be as much a premium. For one point of reference reflecting trends in the gay community, the gay escort agency "TOPPS", based in Washington, D.C., charges $150 an hour for male escorts, and $250 an hour for transsexuals. That agency takes $50 an hour from the contractor. In larger metropolitan areas such as New York City, extemely attractive caucasian female escorts can charge $1000-$2000 per hour. The agency takes 40-50%.

Typically, an agency will charge their escorts either a flat fee for each client connection or a percentage of the pre-arranged rate. In San Francisco, it is usual for typical heterosexual-market agencies to negotiate for as little as $100, up to a full 50 percent of a ladies reported earnings (not counting any gratuity received). Most transactions occur in cash, and optional tipping of escorts by clients in most major US cities is customary but not compulsory. Credit card processing offered by larger scale agencies is often available for a service charge.

Independent escorts, also known as providers, have differing fees depending on many factors. For example; different seasons bring about different costs, as do regular and semi-regular customers. An escort who works less often may be able to command a premium for their exclusivity. One who sees several clients each day may charge less, but earn more in the end. Independent escorts tend to see clients for extended meetings involving dinner or social activities whereas escorts who work through agencies generally provide only sexual services.

This article is licensed under the GNU Free Documentation License. It uses material from the Wikipedia.

Sex tourism is tourism, partially or fully for the purpose of having sex, usually with prostitutes. Sex tourism destinations are typically poor countries, where poverty drives people into prostitution. Examples of these countries are: Thailand, Vietnam, Philippines, Cuba, Czech Republic, and Bulgaria. In the last few years, Argentina has become home to a number of sexpats who have emigrated there to avail of the cheap peso and the opportunities for inexpensive sexual services afforded them by Argentina's depressed economy.

Some sex tourists organize themselves around a number of web sites where they boast about their conquests, share photos of their sex partners, discuss tips on finding prostitutes at the best possible rates in foreign countries and how to avoid detection both at home and abroad. Although most countries with a major sex tourism industry are working on attempting to reduce or eliminate sex tourism, the sex tourists have vested interests to promote their cause. Cities like Angeles City in the Philippines and Pattaya in Thailand, and Amsterdam in the Netherlands can be seen as catering to foreigners who go there to buy sexual services.

This article is licensed under the GNU Free Documentation License. It uses material from the Wikipedia.