Interpersonal relationships

Interpersonal relationships are social associations, connections, or affiliations between two or more people. They vary in differing levels of intimacy and sharing, implying the discovery or establishment of common ground, and may be centered around something(s) shared in common. The study of relationships is of concern to sociology, psychology and anthropology.

Stages of Relationship Formation

1) Contact:

a) Uncertainty reduction - through eye contact, identification, opening disclosure, etc.

b) Perceptual - notice how a person looks at the other and their body language.

c) Interactional cues - nodding, maintaining eye contact, etc.

d) Invitational - encouraging the relationship (ex. asking if they want to meet up later for coffee)

e) Avoidance strategies - if one person discloses and the other does not, minimal response, lack of eye contact, etc.

2) Involvement

a) Feelers - hints or questions (ex. asking about family)

b) Intensifying strategies - further the relationship (ex. meeting old friend, bringing the other to meet family, becoming more affectionate, etc.)

c) Public - seen in public together often (ex. if in a romantic relationship, may be holding hands)

3) Intimacy -very close, may have exchanged some sort of personal belonging or something that represents further commitment. (ex. may be a promise ring in a romantic relationship or a friendship necklace symbolizing two people are best friends)

4) Deterioration - things start to fall apart. In a romantic relationship, after six months people are out of the "honeymoon stage" and start to notice flaws. The way this is dealt with determines the fate of the relationship.

Types of interpersonal relationships

• Kinship relationships, including family relationships, being related to someone else by blood (consanguinity), e.g. fatherhood, motherhood; or through marriage (affinity), e.g. father-in-law, mother-in-law, uncle by marriage, aunt by marriage.
• Formalized intimate relationships or long term relationships through law and public ceremony, e.g. marriage and civil union.
• Non-formalized intimate relationships or long term relationships such as loving relationships or romantic relationships with or without living together; the other person is often called lover, boyfriend or girlfriend (not to be confused with just a male or female friend), or significant other. If the partners live together, the relationship may be similar to marriage, and the other person may be called husband or wife. Over a certain length of time they are so regarded by common law. Mistress is a somewhat old fashioned term for a female lover of a man who is married to another woman, or of an unmarried man. She may even be an official mistress (in French maîtresse en titre); an example is Madame de Pompadour.
• Soulmates, individuals who are intimately drawn to one another through a favorable meeting of the minds and who find mutual acceptance and understanding with one another. Soulmates may feel themselves bonded together for a lifetime; and, hence, they may be sexual partners but not necessarily.
• Casual relationships, relationships extending beyond one night stands that exclusively consist of sexual behavior, the participants of which may be known as friends with benefits when limited to considering sexual intercourse or sexual partners in a wider sense.
• Platonic love is an affectionate relationship into which the sexual element does not enter, especially in cases where one might easily assume otherwise.
• Friendship, which consists of mutual love, trust, respect, and unconditional acceptance, and usually implies the discovery or establishment of common ground between the individuals involved;
• Brotherhood and sisterhood, individuals united in a common cause or having a common interest, which may involve formal membership in a club, organization, association, society, lodge, sorority, fraternity. This type of interpersonal relationship also includes the comradeship of fellow soldiers in peace or war.
• Partners or coworkers in a profession, business, or a common workplace.
• Association, simply being introduced to someone or knowing who they are by interaction.

Factors affecting interpersonal relationships

The discovery or establishment of common ground between individuals is a fundamental component for enduring interpersonal relationships. Loss of common ground, which may happen over time, may tend to end interpersonal relationships.

For each relationship type, essential skills are needed, and without these skills more advanced relationships are not possible. Systemic coaching advocates a hierarchy of relationships, from friendship to global order. Expertise in each relationship type (in this hierarchy) requires the skills of all previous relationship types. (For example partnership requires friendship and teamwork skills).

Interpersonal relationships through consanguinity and affinity can persist despite the absence of love, affection, or common ground. When these relationships are in prohibited degrees, sexual intimacy in them would be the taboo of incest.

Marriage and civil union are relationships reinforced and regularized by their legal sanction to be "respectable" building blocks of society. In the United States the de-criminalization of homosexual sexual relations in the landmark Supreme Court decision, Lawrence v. Texas (2003) facilitated the "mainstreaming" of gay long term relationships, and broached the possibility of the legalization of same-sex marriages in that country.

In intimate relationships there is often, but not always, an implicit or explicit agreement that the partners will not have sex with someone else - monogamy. The extent to which physical intimacy with other people is accepted may vary. For example, a husband may be more receptive to his wife being physically affectionate with her female friend if she has one than with her male friend.

In friendship there is some transitivity: one may become a friend of an existing friend's friend. However, if two people have a sexual relationship with the same person, they may be competitors rather than friends. Accordingly, sexual behavior with the sexual partner of a friend may damage the friendship.

Sexual relations between two friends may alter that relationship by either "taking it to the next level" or severing it. Sexual partners may also be friends: the sexual relationship may either enhance or depreciate the friendship.

The rise of popular psychology has led to an explosion of concern about one's interpersonal relationships (often simply called: "relationships"). Intimate relationships receive particular attention in this context, but Sociology recognises many other interpersonal links of greater or less duration and/or significance.

Relationships are not necessarily healthy. Unhealthy examples include abusive relationships and codependence.

Sociologists recognize a hierarchy of forms of activity and interpersonal relations, which divides them into: behavior, action, social behavior, social action, social contact, social interaction and finally social relation.

Theories of interpersonal relationships

• Social psychology has several approaches to the subject of interpersonal relationships, among them closure and also trust, as trust between parties can be mutual. This may lead to enduring relationships.

• Social exchange theory interprets relationships in terms of exchanged benefits. The way people feel about relationships will be influenced by the rewards of the relationship, as well as rewards they may potentially receive in alternate relationships.

• Systemic coaching analyzes relationships as expressions of our human need to love and be loved. Relationships can be confused by transferences, entanglements and substitution. Systemic coaching offers solutions for many relationship difficulties.

• Equity theory is based on criticism of social exchange theory. Proponents argue that people care more than just maximizing rewards, they also want fairness and equity in their relationships.

• Relational dialectics is based on the idea that a relationship is not a static entity. Instead, a relationship is a continuing process, always changing. There is constant tension as three main issues are negotiated: autonomy vs. connection, novelty vs. predictability, and openness vs. closedness.

• Attachment styles are a completely different way of analyzing relationships. Proponents of this view argue that attachment styles developed in childhood continue to be influential throughout adulthood, influencing the roles people take on in relationships.

External links

• What are friends for? - three part article in UK Guardian newspaper

This guide is licensed under the GNU Free Documentation License. It uses material from the Wikipedia.

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Friendship

Friendship is a relationship which involves mutual knowledge, esteem, and affection. Friends will welcome each other's company and exhibit loyalty towards each other, often to the point of altruism. Their tastes will usually be similar and may converge, and they will share enjoyable activities. They will also engage in mutually helping behavior, such as exchange of advice and the sharing of hardship. A friend is someone who may often demonstrate reciprocating and reflective behaviors. Yet for many, friendship is nothing more than the trust that someone or something will not harm them.

Value that is found in friendships is often the result of a friend demonstrating on a consistent basis:

the tendency to desire what is best for each other.
sympathy and empathy.
honesty, perhaps in situations where it may be difficult for others to speak the truth.
mutual understanding.

It is often considered that a true friend is capable of deep feelings, which may be unexpressible, except in times of great trouble, when they come to one's aid.

In a comparison of personal relationships, friendship is considered to be closer than acquaintanceship, although there is a range of degrees of intimacy in both friendships and acquaintances. For many people, friendship and acquaintanceship lie along the same continuum.

The principal disciplines studying friendship are sociology, anthropology and zoology. Various theories of friendship have been proposed, among which are social psychology, social exchange theory, equity theory, relational dialectics, and attachment styles.

Friendship between two girls

Etymology

The English word is of Germanic origin, and related to the Old English fréond with the same meaning, and the Old Teutonic frijôjan, to love.

History

Friendship is considered one of the central human experiences, and has been sanctified by all major religions. The Greco-Roman had, as a paramount example, the friendship of Orestes and Pylades. The Abrahamic faiths have the story of David and Jonathan. The Christian Gospels state that Jesus Christ declared, "No one has greater love than this, to lay down one's life for one's friends."

In philosophy, Aristotle is perhaps best known for his discussion (in the Nicomachean Ethics) of philia, which is usually (somewhat misleadingly) translated as "friendship", and certainly included friendship, though is a much broader concept.

Physical manifestations

Friends usually will engage in various forms of physical contact, at times spontaneous and other times of a ritualized nature. This is often used as an outward symbol of their friendship.

The form and context of the physical contact has varied historically, culturally, and developmentally. In the West, these manifestations, with the exception of the more formal ones, can be seen with greater frequency among young children and among female friends. In the East they are more equally distributed.

Types

• Handshakes. This is a more formalized type of contact, frequent among older individuals and only denoting feelings of friendship if emphasized.
• Holding hands
• High five
• Hugging
  
  • Two-armed hug
  • Pound hug This embrace, primarily used by young males, has become popular among Western subgroups because it expresses affection while maintaining a remote posture, so as to preclude any homosexual connotations[1].
• Walking arm-in-arm
• Placing an arm over the other's shoulder or waist
• Kissing
• Eskimo kissing
• Imitation of fight

Developmental issues

In the sequence of the emotional development of the individual, friendships come after parental bonding and before the pair bonding engaged in at the approach of maturity. In the intervening period between the end of early childhood and the onset of full adulthood, friendships are often the most important relationships in the emotional life of the adolescent, and are often more intense than relationships later in life. These friendships are most often with one's age and sex peers, though equally intense bonds can form with older or younger individuals.

Types of friendship

• Romantic friendship
  Pen pal
  Internet friendship
  Intimate relationship
  Love
  Platonic love
  Romantic love

Non-personal friendships

Although the term initially described relations between individuals, it is at times used for political purposes to describe relations between states or peoples ("the Franco-German friendship," for example), indicating in this case an affinity or mutuality of purpose between the two nations.

Regarding this aspect of international relations, Lord Palmerston said: "Nations have no permanent friends and no permanent enemies. Only permanent interests."

Interspecies friendship and animal friendship

Friendship as a type of interpersonal relationship is found also among animals with rich intelligence, such as the higher mammals and some birds. Cross-species friendships are common between humans and domestic animals. Less common but still of note are friendships between an animal and another animal of a different species, such as a dog and cat.

Colloquial nomenclature

A number of colloquial terms have been used to describe friendship and the context in which a friendship is fostered. These are briefly described below.

• A friend who supports others only when it is easy and convenient to do so is called a "fair-weather friend".
• A friend who sticks by you through thick and thin is a "true friend".
• A friend with whom you are sexually intimate but don't consider yourself to be dating is said to be a "casual relationship". This is also referred to as being "friends with benefits".

Friendship contrasted with comradeship

Friendship can be mistaken for comradeship. Comradeship is the feeling of affinity that draws people together in time of war or when people have a mutual enemy or even a common goal. Former New York Times war correspondent Chris Hedges wrote: "We feel in wartime comradeship. We confuse this with friendship, with love. There are those, who will insist that the comradeship of war is love — the exotic glow that makes us in war feel as one people, one entity, is real, but this is part of war's intoxication. As this feeling dissipated in the weeks after the attack, there was a kind of nostalgia for its warm glow and wartime always brings with it this comradeship, which is the opposite of friendship. Friends are predetermined; friendship takes place between men and women who possess an intellectual and emotional affinity for each other. But comradeship – that ecstatic bliss that comes with belonging to the crowd in wartime – is within our reach. We can all have comrades." [3] As a war ends, or a common enemy recedes, comrades return to being strangers, who lack friendship and have little in common.

This guide is licensed under the GNU Free Documentation License. It uses material from the Wikipedia.

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Internet friendship

Internet friendships are friendships between people who have met online, and in some cases know each other only via the Internet. Like Internet romance, it has been widely debated and often criticized.

It is, many people argue, very difficult - if not impossible - to establish a meaningful relationship with somebody you can't see face to face. It is difficult to gauge a person's emotions and feelings, and there is a high possibility of deception - people lying about who they are.

Supporters of online relationships, on the other hand, argue that not seeing the other person actually helps the relationship: you have fewer inhibitions, because you feel that the person you are speaking with doesn't have any expectations of you, and therefore it is easier to "be yourself". You are judged on nothing but your personality and screenname. They also point out that online friendships are similar to penpal relationships. It is the experience of many people that in internet relationships most people end up being much more open about their thoughts and feelings than in non-online relationships.

In addition, many proponents of online friendships point out that those who say that the lack of face-to-face contact cheapens internet friendships could be considered shallow to want to see who they are talking to, thus implying that how their friends look could change how they think of them.

In her book Life on the Screen: Identity in the Age of the Internet (1995), Sherry Turkle analyses this and other new phenomena in interpersonal relationships.

Since the development of high-speed, broadband internet, the face of internet friendships has changed utterly. Now it is possible to hold full audio and video conversations via the internet, allowing you to be relatively sure the person you're talking to is who they say they are, as well as observing all the nuances and subtleties of speech and facial expression. Still, some (often more introverted) people prefer not to use these technologies.

This guide is licensed under the GNU Free Documentation License. It uses material from the Wikipedia.

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Dating

History of commercial dating services

Though most people meet their dates at social organizations, in their daily life, or are introduced through friends or relatives, commercial dating agencies emerged strongly, but discreetly, in the Western world after World War II, mostly catering for the 25–44 age group. Newspaper and magazine personal ads also became common.

In the last five years, mate-finding and courtship have seen changes due to online dating services. Telecommunications and computer technologies have developed rapidly since around 1995, allowing daters the use of home telephones with answering machines – mobile phones – and web-based systems to find prospective partners. "Pre-dates" can take place by telephone or online via instant messaging, e-mail, or even video communication. A disadvantage is that, with no initial personal interview by a traditional dating agency head, Internet daters are free to exaggerate or lie about their characteristics.

While the growing popularity of the Internet took some time, now one in five singles is said to look for love on the Web, which has led to a dramatic shift in dating patterns. Research in the United Kingdom suggests that as of 2004 there were around 150 agencies there, and the market was growing at around 20 percent a year due to, first, the very low entry barriers to setting up a dating site, and secondly, the rising number of single people. However, even academic researchers find it impossible to find precise figures about crucial statistics, such as the ratio of active daters to the large number of inactive members whom the agency will often wrongly claim as potential partners, and the overall ratio of men to women in an agency's membership. Academic research on traditional pre-Internet agencies suggests that most agencies have far more men than women in their membership.

Traditionally, in many societies (including Western societies), men were expected to fill the role of the pursuer. However, the anonymity of the Internet (as well as other factors) has allowed women to take on that role online. A recent study indicated that "women pay to contact men as often as the reverse, which is quite different from behavior in telephone-based dating system[s]" (from Wired magazine).

The trend of singles making a Web connection continues to increase, as the percentage of North American singles who have tried Internet dating has grown from two percent in 1999 to over ten percent today (from Canadian Business, February 2002). More than half of online consumers (53%) know someone who has started a friendship or relationship online, and three-quarters of 18-to-24-year-old online consumers (74%) say they do. There is also some academic evidence that the 18–25 age group has significantly taken up online dating. This growing trend is reflected in the surging popularity of online communities such as Friendster, Facebook, and MySpace, sites which are not directly geared toward dating, but many users nonetheless use to find potential dates or research a new acquaintance to check for availability and compatibility.

There is still plenty of room for traditional matchmakers to thrive, however, and only time will tell which industry wins out in the end.

Courtship in the animal kingdom

Many non-human animal species have mate-selection rituals also referred to as courtship. Animal courtship may involve complicated dances or touching; vocalizations; or displays of beauty or fighting prowess. Most animal courtship occurs out of sight of humans, so it is often the least documented of animal behaviors. Animals whose courtship rituals are well studied include the bowerbird, whose male builds a "bower" of collected objects, and the mantis, whose female has been observed to cannibalize her mate during mating.

Links

• http://www.wikiprocess.com/wiki/Dating_With_Women - A process flow of dating with women.
• Dating Tips – The sage offers free advice on dating and relationships.

This guide is licensed under the GNU Free Documentation License. It uses material from the Wikipedia.

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Dating agencies

A dating agency is a business which acts as a service for matchmaking. A dating agency can be a "real" business where men and women come in person and ask a matchmaker to help them find a potential partner. It could also be an internet dating agency - a website where people register, post their profiles and contact other members of the agency.

International dating agencies, which provide men from developed countries with mail-order bride are very popular now. With a decent agency a man can find himself a wife from an economically depressed country. Most popular brides are from Philippines, China, Russia and Ukraine.

Another type of dating agency teaches confidence to men and women. These agencies take members out and teach them how easy it is to meet somebody in public such as a bar, club, restaurant or shopping mall.

Video: How (not) to use a dating agency

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Intimate relationship

An intimate relationship is an interpersonal relationship with a great deal of physical and/or emotional intimacy. It is usually characterized by romantic or passionate love and attachment. Sexuality may or may not be involved.

Love

Love is an important factor in intimate relationships. Research has established that love is more than just liking a lot, and is distinct from sexual attraction. Typically, love in relationships is divided into two types: passionate and companionate. Passionate love is intense longing, and is often accompanied by physiological arousal (shortness of breath, rapid heart rate). Companionate love is affection and a feeling of intimacy not accompanied by physiological arousal.

Anthropological research has shown some variations in intimate relationships. In the Mediterranean, the idea of passionate love is frequently present, whereas in Sub-Saharan Africa there is a lesser amount. Chinese couples tend to value companionate love over passionate love, whereas with American couples the reverse is true.

Different cultures have different conceptions of love. In Japan, there is the concept of amae, acting in ways to induce another to take care of you (as a parent would) secure in the knowledge that they will. In China, there is a type of romantic love called gan qing, which reflects the tenor of a social relationship between two people or two organizations. In Korea, jung(情) is a personal connection, or feeling of connected fates.

This guide is licensed under the GNU Free Documentation License. It uses material from the Wikipedia.

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Love

Love has several different meanings in the English language, from something that gives a little pleasure ("I loved that meal") to something for which one would die for (patriotism, pair-bonding). It can describe an intense feeling of affection, an emotion or an emotional state. In ordinary use, it usually refers to interpersonal love. As an experience usually felt by a person for another person, it is commonly considered impossible to describe. Dictionaries tend to define love as deep affection or fondness. In colloquial use, according to polled opinion, the most favoured definitions of love include the words:

1. life - someone or something for which you would give your life.
2. care - someone or something about which you care more than yourself.
3. friendship - favoured interpersonal associations or relationships.
4. union - a synergistic connection, as in the perfect union of two souls.
5. family - people related via common ancestry, religion, or race, etc.

The concept of love, however, is subject to debate. Some deny the existence of love, calling it a recently invented abstraction. Moreover, approximately 13 percent of cultures reportedly have no word for love. Others maintain that love exists but is undefinable; being a quantity which is spiritual, metaphysical, or philosophical in nature, etc. Perhaps due to its emotional primacy, love is one of the most common themes in art.

Overview

The Kiss by Gustav Klimt.

Love might best be defined as acting intentionally, in sympathetic response to others to promote overall well-being. Or to put it simply, "love responds intentionally to promote well-being" (Thomas Jay Oord). Love promotes overall flourishing, but often focuses on those close at hand.

Cultural differences make any universal definition of love difficult to establish. See the Sapir-Whorf hypothesis. Expressions of love may include the love for a soul or mind, the love of laws and organizations, love for a body, love for nature, love of food, love of money, love for learning, love of power, love of fame, love for the respect of others, et cetera. Different people place varying degrees of importance on the kinds of love they receive. Love is essentially an abstract concept, easier to experience than to explain. Many believe, as stated originally by Virgil, that "Love conquers all". However, love may be confused with lust.

Etymology

In origins, love is an Indo-Iranian word. According to the Oxford English Dictionary, the English word "love" is derived more immediately from Old English lufu, luvu, or lubu, which derived from luba of Old High German. The luba of Old High German derived from leubh, lubet, and libet of Sanskrit and Old Aryan, meaning “pleasing.” Essentially, the modern-day version of the word "love" is the grammatical evolution of a 12th century word meaning to please.

Types

• Courtly love – a late medieval conventionalized code prescribing certain conduct and emotions for ladies and their lovers.
• Erotic love – an aesthetic focused on sexual desire.
• Familial love – affection brokered through kinship connections, intertwined with concepts of attachment and bonding.
• Free love – sexual relations according to choice and unrestricted by marriage.
• Platonic love – a close relationship in which sexual desire is nonexistent or has been suppressed or sublimated.
• Puppy love – romantic affection felt between or as though between adolescents.
• Religious love – devotion to one’s deity or theology.
• Romantic love – affection characterized by a mix of emotional and sexual desire.
• Unrequited love – affection and desire not reciprocated or returned.

Grandmother and grandchild, Sri Lanka

Throughout history, predominately, philosophy and religion have speculated the most into the phenomenon of love. In the last century, the science of psychology has written a great deal on the subject. Recently, however, the sciences of evolutionary psychology, evolutionary biology, anthropology, neuroscience, and biology have begun to take centre stage in discussion as to the nature and function of love.

Biological models of sex tend to see it as a mammalian drive, just like hunger or thirst. Psychology sees love as more of a social and cultural phenomenon. There are probably elements of truth in both views — certainly love is influenced by hormones (such as oxytocin) and pheromones, and how people think and behave in love is influenced by one’s conceptions of love. Hence, from time immemorial, science, from naturalistic poetry to MRI neurochemistry, has debated the nature of love.

Cultural views

The traditional Chinese character for love (愛) consists of a heart (middle) inside of "accept", "feel", or "perceive", which shows a graceful emotion.

Although there exist numerous cross-cultural unified similarities as to the nature and definition of love, as in there being a thread of commitment, tenderness, and passion common to all human existence, there are differences. For example, in India, with arranged marriages commonplace, it is believed that love is not a necessary ingredient in the initial stages of marriage – it is something that can be created during the marriage; whereas in the United States, by comparison, love is seen as a necessary prerequisite to marriage.

Religious views

Whether religious love can be expressed in similar terms to interpersonal love is a matter for philosophical debate. Religious 'love' might be considered a euphemistic term, more closely describing feelings of deference or acquiescence. Most religions use the term love to express the devotion the follower has to their deity, who may be a living guru or religious teacher, as in the Bhakti traditions of Asia. This love can be expressed by prayer, service, good deeds, and personal sacrifice. Reciprocally, the followers may believe that the deity loves the followers and all of creation. Some traditions encourage the development of passionate love in the believer for the deity.

Within Christianity, however, love between spouses is defined as "an emotional attachment and affection shared between two individuals (biblically: male and female); which a person saves for their specific significant other only, and for that emotion to remain for as long as both of their existences shall be."

Sacred Love Versus Profane Love (1602-1603) by Giovanni Baglione

References

1. Oxford Illustrated American Dictionary (1998) + Merriam-Webster Collegiate Dictionary (2000).
2. '04 Poll of 250 Chicagoans – Institute of Human Thermodynamics (Chicago)
3. Ackerman, Diane (1994). A Natural History of Love, Vintage Books. ISBN 0679761837.

• Roger Allen, Hillar Kilpatrick, and Ed de Moor, eds. Love and Sexuality in Modern Arabic Literature. London: Saqi Books, 1995.
• Shadi Bartsch and Thomas Bartscherer, eds. Erotikon: Essays on Eros, Ancient and Modern. Chicago: University of Chicago Press, 2005.
• Helen Fisher. Why We Love: the Nature and Chemistry of Romantic Love
• Thomas Jay Oord, Science of Love: The Wisdom of Well-Being. Philadelphia: Templeton Foundation Press, 2004.
• R. J. Sternberg. A triangular theory of love. 1986. Psychological Review, 93, 119–135
• R. J. Sternberg. Liking versus loving: A comparative evaluation of theories. 1987. Psychological Bulletin, 102, 331–345
• Sternberg, Robert (1998). Cupid's Arrow - the Course of Love through Time, Cambridge University Press. ISBN 0521478936.
• Dorothy Tennov. Love and Limerence: the Experience of Being in Love. New York: Stein and Day, 1979. ISBN 0812861345
• Dorothy Tennov. A Scientist Looks at Romantic Love and Calls It "Limerence": The Collected Works of Dorothy Tennov. Greenwich, CT: The Great American Publishing Society (GRAMPS), [1]
• Wood, Wood and Boyd. The World of Psychology. 5th edition. 2005. Pearson Education, 402–403

Links

• "I love you" in various languages
• The Science of Love
• Top 150 Definitions of Love
• 26 Famous Quotes on Love
• Quotes about Love
• Definition of Love
• Foundation of True Love

This guide is licensed under the GNU Free Documentation License. It uses material from the Wikipedia.

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Marriage

Marriage is a relationship between individuals which often forms the foundation of a family. Marriage can include legal, social, and religious elements. In Western societies, marriage has traditionally been understood as a contract between a man (husband) and a woman (wife), while in other parts of the world polygamy has been the most common form of marriage. Usually this has taken the form of polygyny (a man having several wives) but some societies have practised polyandry (a woman having several husbands). In some western societies today, civil same-sex marriages or civil partnerships are legally recognized.

Definitions

Precise definitions vary historically and between and within cultures: modern understanding emphasizes the legitimacy of sexual relations in marriage, yet the universal and unique attribute of marriage is the creation of affinal ties (in-laws). Traditionally, societies encourage one to marry "out" far enough to strengthen the ties, but "close" enough so that the in-laws are "one of us" or "our kind". One exception to this rule is found in the marriage of royalty, who strengthen their aid through concentration of wealth rather than through affinal ties. Even in this case, the individual was often encouraged to marry "within" close family limits. (Further discussion and reference: Marvin Harris, late Professor of Anthropology, Columbia University)

Marriage remains important as the socially sanctioned bond in a sexual relationship. Marriage is usually understood as a male-female relationship designed to produce children and successfully socialize them. Historically, most societies have allowed some form of polygamy. The West is a major exception. Europe and the United States have defined themselves as monogamous cultures. This was in part a Germanic cultural tradition, a requirement of Christianity (after the sixth century AD), and a mandate of Roman Law. However, Roman Law supported prostitution, concubinage, sex outside of marriage, homosexual sex, and sexual access to slaves. The Christian West formally banned these practices.

Globally, most existing societies no longer allow polygamy as a form of marriage. For example, China shifted from allowing polygamy to supporting only monogamy in the 1953 Marriage act after the Communist revolution. Most African and Islamic societies continue to allow polygamy (around 2.0 billion people). Probably, less than 3% of all Muslim marriages are polygamous. It is increasingly expensive in an Urban setting, but more useful in rural areas where children are a future source of agricultural labor. Most of the world's population now live in societies where polygamy is less common and marriages are overwhelmingly monogamous.

Since the later decades of the 20th century many traditional assumptions about the nature and purpose of marriage and family have been challenged, in particular by gay rights advocacy groups, who disagree with the notion that marriage should be exclusively heterosexual. Some people also argue that marriage may be an unnecessary legal fiction. This follows from an overall shift in Western ideas and practices of family; since WWII, the West has seen a dramatic increase in divorce (6% to over 40% of first marriages), cohabitation without marriage, a growing unmarried population, children born outside of marriage (5% to over 33% of births), and an increase in adultery (8% to over 40%). A system of somewhat serial monogamy has de facto emerged.

In modern times, the term marriage is generally reserved for a union that is formally recognized by the state (although some people disagree). The phrase legally married can be used to emphasize this point. In the United States there are two methods of receiving state recognition of a marriage: common law marriage and obtaining a marriage license. The majority of US states do not recognize common law marriage. Many localities do support various types of domestic partnerships.

Since the Wedding at Cana (John 2:1-11), marriage or holy matrimony has been a sacrament, was not officially defined to be between a man and woman. It was only in the 12th century that the Church (the Catholic Church ), as well as other Orthodoxies, formally defined as a relationship between a man and a woman (in Catholicism the Sacrament of Matrimony (Marriage) is between three people: God, the man and the woman). The Protestant Reformation reformulated marriage as a life-long covenant. Marriage of some kind is found in most societies, and typically married people form a nuclear household, which is often subsequently extended biologically, through children. In the West the nuclear family emerged after 1100. Most non-Western societies have a broader definition of family that includes an extended family network. Alternatively, people may choose to be "childfree". Finally, they may be childless due to infertility, and possibly seek treatment or consider adoption. The term wedlock is a synonym for marriage, and is mainly used in the phrase "out of wedlock" to describe a child born of parents who were not married.

In some societies, there is a growing debate about the form(s) that marriage should take. Two of the most hotly-debated variants are discussed below: same-sex marriage - legal, by 2005, in some countries such as Belgium, the Netherlands, Spain, Canada (and the US states of Massachusetts and Hawaii) - and polygamy.

Recognition

The participants in a marriage usually seek social recognition for their relationship, and many societies require official approval of a religious or civil body. Sociologists thus distinguish between a marriage ceremony conducted under the auspices of a religion and a state-authorised civil marriage.

In many jurisdictions the civil marriage ceremony may take place during the religious marriage ceremony, although they are theoretically distinct. In most American states, the marriage may be officiated by a priest, minister, or religious authority, and in such a case the religious authority acts simultaneously as an agent of the state. In some countries such as France, Germany and Russia, it is necessary to be married by the state before having a religious ceremony. Some states allow civil marriages in circumstances which are not allowed by many religions, such as same-sex marriages or civil unions, and marriage may also be created by the operation of the law alone as in common-law marriage, which is a judicial recognition that two people living as domestic partners are entitled to the effects of marriage. Conversely, there are examples of people who have a religious ceremony that is not recognized by the civil authorities. Examples include widows who stand to lose a pension if they remarry and so undergo a marriage in the eyes of God, homosexual couples, some sects which recognize polygamy, retired couples who would lose pension benefits if legally married, Muslim men who wish to engage in polygamy that is condoned in some situations under Islam, and immigrants who do not wish to alert the immigration authorities that they are married either to a spouse they are leaving behind or because the complexity of immigration laws may make it difficult for spouses to visit on a tourist visa.

In Europe it has traditionally been the churches' office to make marriages official by registering them. Hence, it was a significant step towards a clear separation of church and state and also an intended and effective weakening of the Christian churches' role in Germany, when Chancellor Otto von Bismarck introduced the Zivilehe (civil marriage) in 1875. This law made the declaration of the marriage before an official clerk of the civil administration (both spouses affirming their will to marry) the procedure to make a marriage legally valid and effective, and reduced the clerical marriage to a mere private ceremony.

This guide is licensed under the GNU Free Documentation License. It uses material from the Wikipedia.

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Prostitution

A sex worker in Germany.

Prostitution is the sale of sexual services. A person selling sexual services is a prostitute, a type of sex worker. In a more general sense of the word, anyone selling his/her services for a cause thought to be unworthy can be described as prostituting him/herself. In the United Kingdom a prostitute might be considered as any individual, "who allows his/her body to be used for lewd purposes in return for payment".

References

• Russell Campbell, Marked Women: Prostitutes and Prostitution in the Cinema, University of Wisconsin Press 2005
• John Preston : Hustling, A Gentlemen's Guide to the Fine Art of Homosexual Prostitution, Badboy Books, 1997
• Néstor Osvaldo Perlongher: O negócio do michê, prostituição viril am Sao Paulo, 1.a edição 1987, editora brasiliense
• The UN Convention for the Suppression of the Traffic in Persons and of the Exploitation of the Prostitution of Others (1949)
  • Full text: Status of ratifications, reservations and declarations

Ronald Weitzer (ed.), Sex For Sale: Prostitution, Pornography, and the Sex Industry. New York: Routledge, 2000. Ronald Weitzer, "New Directions in Research on Prostitution," Crime, Law, and Social Change, v.43, no.4-5, 2005. Ronald Weitzer, "Moral Crusade Against Prostitution," Society, March-April, 2006.

Pinoy Bar on Reeperbahn in the red-light district of Hamburg, Germany.

Links and other resources

• Worldsexguide.org – Country index of prostitution legal status (warning: explicit content)
• WorldSexArchives.info – Country index with firsthand reports about prostitution throughout the world. (warning: explicit content)
• Travelsexguide.tv – Index of prostitution related services such as escorts, brothels and redlight districts sorted by country (warning: explicit content)
• Convention for the Suppression of the Traffic in Persons and of the Exploitation of the Prostitution of Others at Law-Ref.org - fully indexed and crosslinked with other documents
• 'Sex trade's reliance on forced labour - BBC
• 'Asia's sex trade is 'slavery' - BBC
• 'Amnesty International UK - forced prostitution
• ‘Mine for £1,300: Ileana, the teenage sex slave ready to work in London’ – The Sunday Telegraph
• Prostitution | Sex is their business, The Economist, 2 september 2004
• Radford, Robert, La prostitution féminine à Rome, entre -200 et 200 après Jésus-Christ : une approche pédagogique utilisant les N.T.I.C.. Sherbrooke, Université de Sherbrooke, 2000.
• Ine Vanwesenbeeck (2001), "Another decade of social scientific work on sex work: A review of research 1990-2000", Annual Review of Sex Research, 12, p. 242
• Sexual Freedom Coalition guide to sex laws in the UK
• D. Brewer et. al. Prostitution and the sex discrepancy in reported number of sexual partners. Proc Natl Acad Sci U S A. 2000 24 October; 97(22): 1238512388.
• The English Collective of Prostitutes

This guide is licensed under the GNU Free Documentation License. It uses material from the Wikipedia.

Video: A day of prostitution in Oklahoma City - 5/19/08

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